After doing this segment for half of a year now you would think that a person posing like this wouldn’t induce a reaction from me…
But truth be told I still fall for it every time. “He can’t be serious, right? This must be taken from one of those Jimmy Tatro skits….oh wait…yeah this guy is serious.”
That’s pretty much how my reaction goes every time.
This week I’m featuring a guy by the name of Bradly Castleberry. And with a name like Bradly, this guy was essentially born to be featured on TOTW. “I wouldn’t want the ‘E’ in my first name bro. It’s a waste of time that could be spent getting pumped.”
Shame on me for not knowing who this guy was up until my recently, because apparently he is a real-life superhero walking among us mortals.
I’m not going to sit here and tell you that I’m well versed into the Instagram world enough to know an “influencer” when I see one. But if this guy doesn’t qualify as an influencer, then I don’t know who would.
1 million followers?? 1 million followers for putting on a backwards hat and R Kelly sunglasses while you lift weights? I was joking earlier, but maybe this guy is a superhero. What’s the deal here? He must be a goddam marketing genius.
- Be you
- Footwork
- Positive vibes only
- Savage
- Highlights
- Highlights
That looks like the 6 titles I would put on my banner thing if I was going to make a parody burner account of a tool. Highlights so nice he named it twice!
*Sidenote – I do have a burner account, but it’s not a tool. It’s a made up guy from Philadelphia who complains about sports.*
As much as I want to dive into the instagram I need to figure out who the hell this guy is first.
I quickly came to notice that nearly all of his search results are complaints of him lifting fake weights. This comes as no shock to me. I’d be 0% surprised if this guy is lifting fake weights. Like I mentioned earlier, I assume he’s a marketing genius. What better way to drive those clicks than to pick up some fake weights? Or better yet – float some fake weight rumors out there about yourself? That shit is win-win.
- Trick idiots into thinking you are stronger than you are? Yes.
- Save money by avoiding those expensive real weights? Yes.
- Solicit a bunch of lift-off challenges from people who are actually strong that will never in a million years happen? Yes.
- Piss people off to the point they spend time on bodybuilding.com message boards trying to prove you use fake weights, but ultimately it results in more free advertising for you to continue being a tool? Yes.
Unfortunately there isn’t much out there for this guy in terms of bio. Which is alarming in itself. How does a guy with a million followers have a ghost of an online presence? It’s almost eerily similar to the con artist Dan Bilzerian (huh…makes you wonder). Thankfully I was able to find this article which I can happily confirm 0% of the information within is true. Let’s break it down anyway.
Oh my god is that good stuff. The guy just loves to hit a casual NFL combine in his spare time. And here I was thinking that sort of thing was invite-only!
WOAH. The placebo sugar tablets being sold as muscle building pills is pretty par for the course. But the son and daughter? Did not see that BOMB coming. Those poor bastards (literally).
The article goes into a lot of discussion as to why this guy is hated and investigates some fake weights stuff. But the only other noteworthy thing for us is this little snippet here about his instagram comments:
The comments themselves are great. Can’t beat a good C-bomb on social media. But I’m personally more excited about those usernames:
- thebeastwithin83
- nick_famageltto
- matt.steel
- _squatdaddy
Some guy named nick famageltto had no idea what he was signing up for when he wrote that innocent comment. Dude looks like a grade-A weenie surrounded by beasts, steel, and squats. Also, squatdaddy not having a “69” at the end of his username is the upset of the year.
Before we go to the instagram (trigger warning – you will cringe), I did manage to find one other notable thing through my google search on Brad…
The only things in life that are certain are death, taxes, and TOTWs crossing paths. Time and time and time again these tools COLLAB. Here we have seem to have a bit of a rivalry between TOTW 7 and Brad.
I did my best to listen to that interview in the background while I continued to write this blog and I’m thrilled to report that TOTW 7 spent 10 minutes saying absolutely nothing of significance while maintaining that this week’s tool is “fake” and “a cheat.” Yeah no shit man. So are you and everyone else on earth who makes money by selling Gildan t-shirts with your logo on them for $29.95 + shipping. That and baking flour powders disguised as pre-workout.
Honestly the only interesting tidbit that I got out of listening to that interview is that these two gentleman went to college together.
You mean to tell me that A) you guys went to college? and B) the guy on the left didn’t spend his early 20s to late 50s in a high security correctional institute???
TO THE INSTAGRAM!
As I’m sure you can imagine, 90% of his photos are going to be stupid shit like this with throwaway meathead captions like “Be fearless.” He probably picked up that bar for a split second and was groaning “take the picture, take the picture, take the picture” to his butt-buddy friend while he hung onto it for dear life. What is that anyway, 1000 pounds? What kind of exercise would he even pretend to be doing with 1000 pounds?
So I’ll do my best to pick out unique stuff…because I could share about 500 of these sort of posts from the month of November alone.
NGL pretty good running form. This video kinda reminded me of a time around 10 years ago where cousin chris took a beer bong while sprinting on zigs treadmill at 10 mph. The key is to keep your composure and keep your head up. Ah, good times.
Not really critical to this photo…but you gotta be a pretty big asshole to get these ropes out at the gym right? I used to hit the Planet Fitness in downtown Baltimore and every time I walked by these bad boys I would just start laughing to myself.
Dear lord please don’t tell me that picture is from this most recent Thanksgiving. Are you trying to take out your entire family in one crack? I see 2 people in that picture who would not survive covid and 1 highly questionable.
Oh dear god the fake weights claims are actually real. He’s handling those dumbells like I would handle a set of 40s 25s. And now I’m officially the guy on the internet taking the bait and fueling the fire by pointing it out…
*throws on sweats and a matching beanie to rip off a 12 foot broad jump.*
Oh no there it is. I am NOT ok with this guy reproducing. We really need to fast-track that child license thing that my drunk uncle has been talking about.
I’m on record as being notoriously bad at guessing ages, but I think that girl is old enough to be thinking “why the fuck are you wearing those sunglasses in public.”
This guy and his Meredith Palmer shorts are making it difficult for me to keep scrolling. If I have to suffer looking at this guys shorts being pulled down while also being hiked up – then so do you. Maybe just try putting on a speedo you jackass.
Man who woulda thought this guy would get 7 miles to the gallon? Let me rephrase that – is there anyone on earth who thought this guy would get more than 7 miles to the gallon?
Ok I didn’t expect to be this far down the blog before I was in tears. That swing is something else. If I showed that video to my mom who never played softball in her life she would say “why are you showing me a swinging bunt?”
1,125 pounds nbd. Again – what is the purpose of this post? Does he just pick it up for a second and then put it back on the rack? Flash forward to tomorrow morning – “Holy shit my shoulders are killing me. That 3 second lift I did where I was standing and then I stood was insane.”
Is it just me or did he just fuck that thing up?
This guy has officially become the car crash that I can’t look away from. Parading around the public gym in camo sweats and no shirt while the other patrons look at him praying that he and his camera crew will leave after their next video.
God that’s rough.
I can not fathom how unintelligent this conversation must have been. Imagine being a fly on the wall for this lift session.
“OH MY GOD OBJ YOURE A LEGEND MAN YOURE THE GOAT.” -tool
“Take a shit on my chest.” – OBJ
Hmm..this one caught my interest. As a professional ditch digger who calls himself an engineer on LinkedIn, I know a thing or two about the weight of that rock. The weight of a cubic foot of concrete is ~150 pounds. That rock is a pretty irregular shape, but I’d be willing to estimate we are looking at a pyramid on the order of 24″x24″x16″ there. So 1.8 cubic feet would equate to around 270 pounds.
Little bit lofty on your estimate of 400 pounds there, Mr. Tool.
I’m not going to sit here and try to count those plates, but I just read a comment that said “Yep definitely real 1500 lb leg press for sure” and I burst out laughing.
Gun to your head who’s the bigger tool?? This guy or Bilzerian?
I end up getting shot in the head after 5 minutes because I literally can’t choose. It’s that close.
NFL CONTACTED ME TODAY! Who’s ready for this 255lbs #FreightTrain on the field! I was contacted today by a prominent coach in the #NFL to try out and start for a #WINNING team. I respect ALL ATHLETES especially in the @NFL and I can’t wait show the world what I’m made of, but I’m torn between bodybuilding and playing ball on the field. Comments? 🇺🇸 #USA
Wow that’s awesome. Congrats man. Actually – hold that thought….I’ve got NASA calling me on my cell I’ll brb.
Not sure what’s worse, the baseball swing or this guy fumbling around with a basketball. I can’t believe I’m saying it – but I think he actually looked better with the bat in his hands.
Well boys and girls…I had to go back to 2014 to find it one but I did it. I found a picture where this tool has a shirt on (sort of).
#NFLCombineReady
I made it back to the beginning of his profile and just want to take a moment to reflect on how far this man has come. Looks like he used to drive the “Hope-I-can-bag-a-buck-on-Thanksgiving” special and deadlift 400 pounds and now he’s driving the 2022 Ford Big Rig and putting 1500 pounds on the bar.
Good stuff. TOOL ON!!!