You recognize this guy?
Hint – it’s not Doug Flutie.
Second hint – it’s not Joey Bosa.
Third hint – it IS a 14-year NFL veteran who ranks #27 on the all-time most points scored list who hits like Brian Dawkins, runs like Devin Hester, and drips like Odell Beckham.
That’s right folks. This week were featuring Jay Feely and if you didn’t laugh out loud at the above picture, go get your pulse checked. That picture belongs in the dictionary next to the word “funny.” Is that an actual NFL player or is Darren Rovell playing dress-up again?
.@theRealHOTSAUCE got @darrenrovell pretty good 🤣🤣🤣 pic.twitter.com/EewgmJ2euR
— Atlanta Hawks (@ATLHawks) March 11, 2018
So for anyone out there who isn’t familiar with Jay Feely, I’ll try to provide the cliffnotes. Jay is basically a journeyman kicker that played for half the teams in the NFL despite his performance as the most average kicker of all time. There is no place in my memory bank on Jay that makes me recall any moments of “damn what a kick by Jay Feely.” The dude was nothing special. I’m pretty sure the only reason he lasted as long as he did in the NFL is because he fooled a lot of people into assuming he was good based on the fact that he dressed up like he played wide receiver for the greatest show on turf.
BTW I’m not going to look up the stats to back up my claims about him being an overrated and average kicker, so just take my word for it. And if my word doesn’t do it for you then check out the first few paragraphs of his “Professional Career” from wikipedia.
Pardon my french but what in the actual fuck did I just read? Jay Feely was returning kicks??? Also this dude was 3 for 11 on FGs and hitting 65% of his XPs in the Arena Football League before his tryout with the Falcons. Throw out the resume, who in the hell is your dad Jay Feely?
“Bobby flipped burgers at McDonalds and swept the floors at TJ Maxx before his interview with NASA’s unmanned aerial vehicle department.”
So what makes this guy a tool? What do I have against him?
Well – let’s start with the appearance.
(Yes I looked into that 4th picture and Yes from what I can tell it is 100% authentic. That’s a real CBS graphic.)
Just look at this guy. Why on earth does a kicker need to wear all that shit? I could speculate until I’m blue in the face, but let’s just go straight to the source. This was a quote from him fresh off this magnificent fake field goal TD run.
My favorite play of my career https://t.co/WyVQMdomtn
— Jay Feely (@jayfeely) June 5, 2018
If you’re keeping score at home it took him 49 words to get to the part that everyone on earth over the age of 6 can fully recognize: “It looks kind of cool too.” We got it, Jay. Looks good on your 5′-6″ frame brotha.
Not exactly sure what the “it’s for tackles” part means, but DO NOT sleep on Jay Feely as a defender. The guy is essentially Terry Tate living inside the body of a high school gym teacher. You already saw it, but probably didn’t think twice about it…so I want you to scroll back up and take another look at that 3rd picture where he’s tackling the Texans ball carrier.
Little fun fact about Jay Feely – one surefire way to tell he was feeling himself was whenever he would start sprinting down the field on kickoffs like he’s the lead gunner. I’m probably the only person on earth that remembers this, but I watched a game between the Dolphins and Jets back in 2009 where Jay Feely tried to make every tackle on kickoff team. I swear to god that he made the first TWO solo tackles of the game for the Jets kickoff team. I have no idea what possessed him to do so that day, but he was sprinting down the field and was meeting the Dolphins return man, Tedd Ginn, around the 30 yard line with a full head of speed. I remember thinking “that was really weird” after the first one. Followed by “what the hell is going on” after it happened a second time. The announcers were cracking up. Jay was headbutting teammates and high-fiving coaches on the sideline.
Then like a scene out of comedic film scripted by me, on the third attempt Ted Ginn went streaking by Jay Feely and the rest of the Jets kickoff team on his way to a 100 yard touchdown. And then instead of learning his lesson, he continued to sprint down the field and Ted Ginn ran another 100 yard kickoff back a second time. Funny how much easier that is when there’s no kicker back deep to contain!
I can’t find the footage from those Jay Feely tackles, but I promise you it was outstanding. I did however find the box score from that day. Dolphins vs. Jets November 1, 2009. The players themselves probably don’t even remember this game, but I still think about it once every 6 months at a minimum.
And bonus – I found the Ted Ginn TDs. Pay particular attention to the short guy who comes all the way down to the 25 yard line on the first TD, then proceeds to sprint back as fast as he possibly can to no avail.
Reason #2 why Jay Feely is a tool (as if we need another reason) – he SUCKS as a commentator. I don’t even want to call him a commentator. He does that idiotic thing where the network pays him a lot of money to be like a “specialist on kicking.” Just some completely unneccesaary job that nobody watching at home asked for. The type of job that will result in us having to deal with Pat McAfee screaming into a microphone at us by next season. “FOR THE BRAND” LOL YUP!
Check out this insight by Jay during some 2017 MACtion between Toledo and Eastern Michigan.
What game was this broadcaster watching? 😂 pic.twitter.com/y6ABjy8aR4
— NFL Memes (@NFL_Memes) October 7, 2017
I’ve spent entirely too much time trying to hypothesize what happened that made Jay proclaim those words after watching that kick miss by 15 yards wide right. And I still don’t have a guess as to what on earth he was looking at. How insane is it that his job was to offer kicking insight and he managed to produce the most incorrect sports commentary clip of all time? Literally all you have to do is stare at the refs hands and then act excited if the guy makes it or groan if he misses. This clip goes directly into the HOF for me.
*deadly awkward silence*
“Eastern Michigan answers!!…………….3 to 3….”
*scoreboard pops up showing 3 to 0*
Should I continue to cite examples of this guy being a tool or do you get it by now?
I dont play video games, I live life RT @omarquijas1995 do u play madden 25 online on the ps3? @jayfeely
— Jay Feely (@jayfeely) October 9, 2013
Jay lives life bro.
Wishing my beautiful daughter and her date a great time at prom #BadBoys pic.twitter.com/T5JRZQYq9e
— Jay Feely (@jayfeely) April 22, 2018
Here’s the picture you always hear people joke about taking, but you’ve never actually met a big enough idiot to literally go through with it and get the gun out. The commitment here is kind of hilarious honestly. I only wish he would have went one step further and pointed it at the kid.
“Nothing to worry about, just using the scope. The safety is…….on.”
Well, that’s enough stupidity for me today. Jay Feely wants to be president. Just WOW.
Take us out, Jay!