I was mindlessly scrolling twitter recently (as one does) and I came across one of those high-level, productive back-and-forth conversations. You know, the ones where by the end of the chain of replies everyone involved is virtually shaking everyone else’s hands and wishing them a “splendid rest of your day!”
Except instead of wishing each other a nice day this one ended with some serious insults being thrown around. I thought it was funny for two reasons.
- Because the comeback was so over-the-top and unwarranted that it had a level of comedic genius to it
- Because it sums up the vibe that comes with most of the conversations everyone in America is having with each other at the present time
Ok, hold on a second. This was just supposed to be a friendly reminder that football was only a month away. I don’t think Patrick Mahomes III was trying to hold an open discussion forum on fan attendance and the community health impacts.
But nonetheless, Objective Rebel and Larry decide to divulge into a little game of “let’s see if I can change this other person’s mind on the internet.” And then all of the sudden the camera pans to the top rope and some guy named xEvil Smurfx is standing up there!
Oh my god. To think that Twitter didn’t always exist and we wouldn’t get to see a reply like that is deeply saddening. There’s no chance a grown man would ever speak those words out loud to another grown man. The only way we get that sort of gold is with the benefit of Twitter at our fingertips.
“Maybe you should also buy pads for the fear of sticking two tampons in your pussy Larry!” Wow. Just, wow.
I guess I can’t fully comprehend what xEvil Smurfx’s point is. He starts by telling him to scoop up some extra airbags for his car. But finishes by telling him to use pads? I don’t totally understand the part about being fearful of using two tampons. And if we’re being totally honest – I thought Larry was actually making some pretty fair points. But Evil Smurf was having NONE OF IT. You won’t catch him driving drunk. Hell, you won’t even catch him drinking. But you know damn well that you won’t catch him letting some pussy like Larry walk around in a mask without giving him the what-for!
Is that not the perfect summation of an American conversation about Coronavirus? It’s a couple self appointed experts trading jabs before some loudmouth comes in and derails the entire conversation with a beautifully executed personal attack. God I love 2020.
PS – THANK GOD I saved the screenshots because I went to embed the original tweets and wouldn’t you know it…
SUSPENDED!???? Doug, kick him off the tour!
I wonder what on earth he could have done to have gotten himself suspended…