A solid showing at both the collegiate and professional ranks last weekend helped us get our winning percentage to over 60% this year. Barring 20 straight losses, we should be able to hold off the Athletic “experts” for a bit.
First things first. We need to redo our college playoff projections. With Oregon’s loss, it seems hard to believe a Pac 12 school gets into the playoff. With the ACC also likely eliminated as well, this opens an inevitable spot for a Big Ten school with five teams in the Top 15. (Not sure why I was so harsh on the B1G last week.) And as wild as it seems, Cincinnati and BYU have established themselves as serious contenders to become the first non-Power 5 teams to get into the CFB playoff. For this week we’ll go with the following and I’ll be sticking with it until further notice.
- Alabama 2. Georgia 3. Ohio State. 4. Cincinnati
For NFL purposes, I am starting to think the Chiefs are actually beatable. Is this the year Josh Allen or Lamar Jackson lead their teams to their first Super Bowl appearances? It is starting to look more and more likely given how well both have played in the past three weeks. As a Bills homer, I’m hoping this is finally the week Allen and the Bills can break through and finally beat the Chiefs like the Ravens did in Week 2.
The Cardinals are now the only undefeated team left, but the question remains: are they for real? Seeing J.J. Watt in a Super Bowl seems like it would be one of my worst nightmares coming to fruition. Luckily, by any stretch of the imagination, I cannot see things shaking out where Kliff Kingsbury leads a team to the Super Bowl. So, for now, I have to think no. For this week, we’ll stick with the Chiefs and Rams but with another Chiefs loss this week, I have no choice but to change things up.
WEEK 5 RE$ULTS (NCAAF)
1. UCONN vs. Vanderbilt UNDER 51.5
LOSER
Things I thought I’d never say in my life: TWO late UCONN touchdowns to cap off a scoring spree (25 points) in the fourth quarter cost us.
2. Nebraska vs. Northwestern UNDER 50
LOSER
Things I also thought I’d never say: Nebraska hit the over by themselves.
*Editor’s Note: I am fascinated by the photoshop of this picture and I am 50/50 on whether Travy made this or found it.*
3. Oregon State -2.5 (vs. Washington)
🚨 WINNER 🚨
A back and forth fourth quarter set up an awesome ending to this one. Our guy Chance Nolan (who looked extremely pedestrian despite last week’s praise) came through for us on the last drive of the game to give the Beavers a 3-point win and us a ½ point victory.
4. Bowling Green State +16.5 (vs. Kent State)
🚨 WINNER 🚨
5. Bowling Green vs Kent State UNDER 56.5
🚨 WINNER 🚨
Bowling Green is now the last perfect team against the spread: 5-0. They are also one of five teams (along with Kent State) to have hit zero overs. Things to keep in mind while the season is still young.
6. Georgia -18.5 vs Arkansas [College Football Gameday Pick]
🚨 WINNER 🚨
Make it 5 College Gameday wins in a row. Also, I dare you to try to use the nickname ‘Dogs without immediately thinking of this play.
WEEK 5 RE$ULTS (NFL)
1. Ravens +1 (vs. Broncos)
🚨 WINNER 🚨
This is just a classic case of someone overthinking an eventual sub-.500 Broncos team could honestly compete with a legitimate AFC contender.
2. Packers -6.5 (vs. Steelers)
🚨 WINNER 🚨
We’ll give half our winnings to the zebras this week as I’m not so sure the blocked field goal return that was called back should have actually been called back. In general though, this never felt like a competitive game. This was by far the best news I found while scrolling through Steelers’ beat writers profiles this week.
3. Bucs -6.5 (vs. Patriots)
LOSER
What a boring game with a boring ending. And let’s all say a prayer before bed tonight that Mac Jones isn’t the next Tom Brady. Let’s bust out the fat pics to make us feel better about ourselves.
4. Seahawks +3 (vs. 49ers)
🚨 WINNER 🚨
So weird when you follow the numbers and it works out. I think I’ll mainly stick to my gut instincts, thank you. Numbers crunching was so 2020.
5. Chiefs -7 (vs. Eagles)
🚨 WINNER 🚨
The Eagles made the Chiefs defense look pedestrian but the Chiefs still managed to cover. So sort of the best of both worlds here. Overall, I was still disappointed we didn’t get to see Andy Reid pull a Hugh Freeze this week fresh off his ICU stint.
6. Raiders +3.5 (vs. Chargers)
LOSER
I am officially eliminating Derek Carr from MVP race. You heard it here first.
Week 5 – 1:1 (+105)
- Georgia -1100 (vs. Arkansas) ✅
- Ohio State -650 (vs. Rutgers) ✅
- Florida -330 (vs. Kentucky) ❌
- Clemson -800 (vs. Boston College) ✅
- Bills -1600 (vs. Texans) ✅
LOSER
Week 5 Long Shot Moneylines
Northwestern +330 (vs. Nebraska)
LOSER
If you’re gonna be wrong, why not be wrong by 49 points, am I right?
South Alabama +390 (vs. LA-Lafayette)
LOSER
Exhibit A to above reference. The Jaguars missed a 36-yard field goal with 1 minute left. Which game hurts more do you think?
WEEK 6 WINNER$:
1. Charlotte -3.5 (vs. FIU)
It is hard to believe how many times I’ve had Charlotte in action this year. Taking Charlotte this time around, however, has nothing to do with Charlotte and everything to do with FIU’s incompetence. FIU is 127th (out of 130 teams) in defense in yards allowed per game so far this season. And take out their Week 1 win (and their only win) against a team without a logo on the Bleacher report app, and they are averaging 23 PPG on offense – good for a tie for 102nd. I think Charlotte wins this one by double digits.
This week’s fun fact: LIUCWP (which I believe is Long Island University but this does not have a straightforward answer) is in the same conference as Duquesne. Also, they had a TRIPLE bye week prior to playing St. Francis this weekend. Needless to say, they should be well rested for the start of conference play.
2. Auburn UNDER 15.5 (vs. Georgia)
Georgia‘s upperclassmen-loaded defense is surrendering 0.25 points per drive. This is three times better than the team in second place. Ladies and gentleman, Bo Nix (or his back-up) is not going to buck the trend.
3. Coastal Carolina -19 (vs. Western Kentucky)
Sitting at 4-1 ATS, the Chanticleers make a living kicking the living piss out of bad teams. Get this spread before it gets to three TD’s.
4. Houston vs. Tulane OVER 58.5
These teams have combined to hit 7 out of 10 overs this year. Houston is averaging 40+ in their past 4 games and Tulane is averaging 35 PPG and has not scored less than 21 points yet this season. Plus, life is too short to take too many unders.
Note: My hair is falling out at such a concerning rate, I am convinced this is what my head will look like at my wedding. I’ll bring a visor for the reception.
5. Cowboys -7 (vs. Giants)
There’s only one team still perfect against the spread and that team (unbelievably) is the Dallas Cowboys.
6. Texas +3.5 (vs. Oklahoma) [College Football Gameday Pick]
Every Red River rivalry game since 2014 has been a one possession game, which makes the underdog in this game a great play. And the Sooners are 1-4 ATS so far. Texas is back. Bust out the dusty Longhorn head.
Week 6 – 1:1 (+101)
- Alabama -1000 (vs. Texas A&M)
- Georgia -800 (vs. Auburn)
- Coastal Carolina -1100 (vs. Arkansas State)
- UCLA -800 (vs. Arizona)
- Ohio State -1700 (vs. Maryland)
- Tampa Bay -475 (vs. Miami)
Ok, I can’t even muster up a guess who blows this one.
*Editor’s Note: I’m just gonna leave this here.*
Week 6 Long Shot Moneylines
Syracuse +200 (vs. Wake Forest)
It’s Wake Forest for god’s sake. They have to lose at some point.
Navy +410 (vs. Southern Methodist)
Last week, Navy was a two touchdown underdog against a high-powered UCF offense, yet won outright in Annapolis. Hmmm.
Enjoy Week 6, perverts!