Trending on twitter yesterday under the phrase “fucking weirdos”…
I got the scoop! The Hyundai-hating hot mic pilot works for Southwest. A fact that surprises exactly zero Southwest flight attendants I’ve talked to. https://t.co/tlYfoeeIiM
— Freda Moon (@FredaMoon) March 25, 2021
As a fellow rig guy myself, “Hyundai-hating pilot” had me intrigued. I had to look further into this one by clicking the link. And to my delight, the quotes within this article delivered (and then some)!
I told you this article delivered! Some of those quotes are absolute gold. The best Jerry, the best!
My only issue is that despite scouring other news sources and twitter, I couldn’t get the actual audio on this anti-San Fran, anti-slow car, anti-weirdo pilot. However, I did notice that the original article had a link to some sketchy Air Traffic Control site. And from there I was able to dig up the actual audio.
I am fortunate enough to have a hard-working staff of 1 here at That’s Garbage Media. And my staff was able to produce the first-ever audio file for this masterpiece of a rant. Listen below:
OH MY GOD IT’S BETTER THAN I EXPECTED. Are you kidding me with that voice!?? You telling me that guy has his commercial pilots license?? Is there some sort of new law that says if you drive a 1980 or older Chevy than you can apply for a pilots license through reciprocity?
How is it that I’ve never met this man, but I know EXACTLY what he looks like down to his haircut and facial hair. Here – I can actually show you what he looks like. It’s Farva from Super Troopers.
So let’s go through this sucker one-by-one. Quote-by-quote.
“Yeah, fuck this place [presumably referring to San Francisco]. Goddam liberal fucks.”
Rule #1 of rolling into a new city is to judge its quality by the way its residents voted in the last election. Set the tone early. Preferably before you even touch down on land you should be angry about political stuff. That’s a recipe to enjoy yourself.
“[undistinguishable] like 8 guns out here somewhere, as it is.”
“Fucking…fucking weirdos. Probably drive around in them fucking Hyundais, fucking, fucking, lulueluleu, lowered and shit that go slow as fuck.”
I’m not seeing a whole lot there that would result in angering any nearby spectators. I gotta assume he’s simply upset about the idea that someone would LOWER their rig as opposed to lifting it. So I stand with Pilot Farva on this one. #TeamLiftKit
“Yeah, you don’t have balls unless you’re fucking rolling coal, man.”
Goddamit it’s been a minute since I heard the term ‘rolling coal.’ It’s one of my all time favorites. Something about watching a grown man get excited about driving an unnecessarily large truck that he can’t afford the payments on brings a smile to my face.
But the guy makes a great point here. There’s truly no better indicator to whether or not someone has testicles than assessing what kinda rig they drive. Fun fact about me – when I was born the doctor immediately walked over to the window, took one look at my dad’s truck out in the parking lot, and said “oh yeah, this one’s a boy!”
If you are ever bored and need a 5 minute laugh just search “rolling coal” into YouTube. The results are endless (and priceless).
“Goddammit!”
Gotta assume this is the moment when Pilot Farva realized that he was unintentionally ‘talkin’ shop’ into the hot mic. He thought he was having a little guys-being-guys time with his co-pilot. Just a little locker room talk. Ripping on hippies and cars that get more than 10 miles to the gallon. Now he’s going to have to deal with a Zoom HR meeting first thing on Monday.
“Southwest 531 ready to go.”
Great recovery, Farva. Keep your composure and pretend nothing happened. Let’s land this bird and go grab a Budweiser in the city of weirdos.
PS – very underrated moment when the control tower guy tried to put a stop to this nonsense halfway through by saying “hey so and so you have a hot mic.” And then before he even had a chance to breathe Farva comes back firing with “you don’t have balls unless you’re fucking rolling coal.” Imagine the look on that control tower nerd’s face when he got hit with that truth bomb.
All things considered, as we’re in the hay day of hot mic escapades, this wasn’t nearly has bad as it could have been. Not a single racial or homo/transphobic slur..gotta give the pilot credit for reeling in his true thoughts.