What’s up fellow shareholders? It’s been some time since I last checked in. What better time to do so than now when our country is on the verge of an economic crisis?
Stocks end sharply lower, dragging Dow, S&P 500 to monthly loss https://t.co/hCtxIGGLbE
— MarketWatch (@MarketWatch) January 29, 2021
GameStop shares have soared 1,600% this year. Here's how the market frenzy played out this week 📈 https://t.co/MkEI7R00hZ pic.twitter.com/RZAy71CzEp
— Bloomberg (@business) January 30, 2021
With a fight raging in the markets between amateur and Wall Street investors over stocks like GameStop and AMC, U.S. regulators warned Friday of "extreme stock price volatility" and said will review any actions that "disadvantage" investors.https://t.co/nsCNJ7zLTV
— USA TODAY (@USATODAY) January 29, 2021
#Dogecoin $1.00 Here We Come. 2021 🌎🚀🌕 pic.twitter.com/9FXvp64oOq
— Dogecoin Rise 📈 (@DogecoinRise) January 31, 2021
Pumping meme stocks and redditors trying to annihilate hedge funds while the Dow Jones crashes.
I don’t want to spend a lot of time on the “let’s pump a shitty stock into a short squeeze situation” thing. I can’t even keep track of what all is being artificially hyped at this point. And I’m not going to pretend I can accurately price a stock. But I promise you that GameStop is not worth more than $100/share. It’s probably not worth more than $50.
And while I think it is interesting, and funny, and in a weird way justifiable what is happening to these stocks…I think you are wildly irresponsible if you are buying into any of them at this stage. And that’s coming from a guy who lost 30 units in just half of a college football season.
I’ve seen this game played out before and it ends poorly for 90% of the people involved. It is very, very, very difficult to take your profits when you are riding a stock with that much volatility. I know this from personal experience. A couple years ago I was the idiot staying up until 3 in the morning during the week reading those very same reddit boards trying to figure out which stocks were going to be pumped and dumped. Trust me, I was dumping lower than I was pumping 8 times out of 10.
The difference is that I was dealing with mostly penny stocks. Stuff that was $5 or less. Stuff that probably had 0.1% of the trading volume of this GameStop shit. I can only imagine what these stocks will do when they are dumped (spoiler alert – they will not fall slowly). I can already imagine the first New York Times story written about some asshole who is homeless due to the AMC stock crash of 2021 (another spoiler alert – I will not feel sorry for him).
Now how about all these cryptocurrencies? How about bitcoin?
Can we all appreciate the fact that the basis of this “currency” is simply to buy it with USD and try to sell it later for more USD? Sounds legit!
Seriously – can someone explain to me how that is a currency? I’ve owned bitcoin myself and the only thing I have ever purchased with it is a shit ton of sports bets through an illegal offshore site. It’s not like you roll through the checkout line at Lowe’s and the cashier says “would you like to pay in bitcoin today?”
But then again – the Winklevoss twins (the guys who own the company that is motivated to sell the most bitcoin) said it’s a surefire thing. So by all means sink 50% of your portfolio into these virtual coins! I mean these guys look trustworthy, right!?
On a more serious note – I would never invest in BTC until I understood the fundamentals of BTC. And I have actually tried to understand it and read about it on multiple occasions. But it always ends with me closing my laptop in the middle of my research and saying “this is dumb.”
I just get a weird vibe that all of these people who are hyping bitcoin actually have no clue what the hell they are talking about, and how the technology works. It’s like having someone claim they enjoyed the plot of the movie Tenet. Nah man, you are talking out of your ass and you want to trick me into believing that you’re smart. And for that reason…I’m out.
Now let’s get to some real winners. COLD HARD STOCKS.
Would you like me to show you the prices of these stocks in USD or BTC? (Jk if I showed you in BTC it might be off by a factor of 30% tomorrow. That’s another reason why it’s the currency of the future. That volatility makes it very attractive.)
For today I’ll give you 2 winners and 1 big old STAYAWAY. Let’s do this.
WINNER: DKNG
I wrestled with which one of these sports gambling stocks to give out, but at the end of the day, it truly does not matter. Just get your ass over to the betting window ASAP and place your bets on the first one you can blurt out.
It recently occurred to me that as sports wagering becomes more legalized and more socially acceptable – you are going to discover that A LOT of morons are betting. Don’t get me wrong..I’m a moron. But I want to actually give myself a little bit of credit here by saying that I know “when to stop.” And if you have friends who gamble on sports then I’m sure you know which ones of them DON’T know when to stop.
The amount of “young professional” idiots placing Tuesday night parlays in the year of 2022 will be un-comprehend-able. When one considers the fact that all of these new bettors will be coming into the market (and losing), then one realizes just how much money the sportsbooks are going to make. They are already raking it in as is.
Top 3 reported sports betting states in November, by handle:
— Darren Rovell (@darrenrovell) December 16, 2020
New Jersey: $931.6 million
Pennsylvania: $491.9 million
Indiana: $250.8 million
(Nevada and Illinois have not reported November data. Those two states will be No. 2 and No. 4, respectively)
With $548 million bet on sports betting in December, $5 billion has now been bet on sports in Pennsylvania alone since it was legalized.
— Darren Rovell (@darrenrovell) January 19, 2021
Gross gaming revenue projection has 47 states offering sports gambling by 2030, pulling in $15.1 billion. pic.twitter.com/8I364LqyKM
— Darren Rovell (@darrenrovell) June 8, 2020
Sidenote – It’s kinda funny how everyone “needs” a stimulus check yet they always seem to find money under the couch cushions for gambling on sports and buying GameSTONK…
WINNER: BOXL
To be totally blunt – I had no intention of ever sharing this stock on here. This was one that I was planning on slowly acquiring until I had a dangerous amount of it and then attempt to forget that I owned it. Basically I was taking a flyer on it. Figured maybe I’ll stumble across it in a couple years and it’ll be worth 3 times as much as I paid for it (or maybe 5 times less). That is…until last night…
I was conversing with my girlfriend about buying a webcam to aid in her ability to teach virtually when she mentioned the word “Boxlight.”
“Wait, did you say B-O-X Light?” -me
“Yeah….do you know what that is?” -her
“No. Well…uh, yeah I’ve heard of it. I might own a few shares…” -me
“I would not recommend that. I’ve never heard of them until they put them in our classrooms this year.” -her
One woman’s trash is another man’s treasure. She is skeptical, but to me, Boxlight sounds like the buying opportunity of a lifetime. I don’t even know what the fucking thing is, but I think I’ll name my first yacht after it.
My understanding of Boxlight was that it was some sort of company that engages in virtual instruction technologies. Hence why I started buying it over the last year as I am slowly realizing that COVID will last forever. But she made it sound more like it was a smartboard of some sort. So I should probably check the company website out…
Yeah I’m still confused. But I think they sell a smart (chalk)board. That seems to be the extent of their product line. HOWEVER – the good news is that these screens are powered by Samsung. They mention Samsung on their website a few times. And it’s not just a one-way street. This next paragraph I pulled directly off Samsung’s website:
AND BONUS – I came across this other random website that I have never heard of in my life (it has zero credibility) that is slapping a price target of $4.75 a share on this bitch.
Let the profits begin!! $BOXL to $4.75 here we go!
Now it’s time for the loser! No pressure, but if you invest in this stock, there is at least a 30% chance you die in a hang gliding accident.
LOSER: SBUX
Barring a complete overhaul of their business model – I absolutely hate this stock. I would classify the coffee at Starbucks as “that’s pretty good coffee.” I’ve even had a few cups that I thought were “yeah that’s really good.” But the coffee itself is not my source of frustration. My frustration is literally everything else except for the taste of the coffee. Here’s a list in no particular order:
- Lack of Drive-Thrus
- Does “The Bux” even have drive-thrus? If they do I have never seen one. And that sucks. The #1 reason I prioritize finding a Dunkin over everywhere else is that I can pull out my phone and order a coffee within 5 seconds without having to communicate with anyone. Then I pull up to a window and say my name and they hand me a coffee. Simple.
- The food
- I have never in the history of being inside a Starbucks observed someone order food. They seemingly only have plastic cookies and muffins behind glass cages that are for display purposes only. Come to think of it – do they even have a food menu? I’m pretty sure all of their menus consist of 1200 words that describe a total of 12 different drinks.
- The Menu
- Speaking of those menus…why do they try to bait you into speaking french words that you can’t pronounce? Even specifying the size of the goddam cup is supposed to be some awkward interaction. “May I have one Venti please monsieur?” PSHHHH. I pride myself on the fact that I have NEVER said any of those words. I am 100 for 100 on walking up to the counter and saying “Can I have a regular-ass large coffee with cream, please?”
- The Clientele
- Snobs all over the goddam place. Sitting at their high top tables with tanlged macbooks cords just lurking at anyone and everyone who comes through the door. The only people that don’t get scoffed at are people who are dressed in the Starbucks snob uniform.
- Open Bathroom Policy
- You may be winning the social justice warrior competition, Starbucks, but this is stupid as shit from a business perspective. “Our bathrooms are open to everyone. The homeless, meth addicts, drunk college kids, you name it!”
As far as financial due diligence goes….I don’t have much for you. But I will say that roughly 5 times a year I see a headline that goes something like this:
Starbucks to permanently close 400 stores in U.S. and Canada; warns of 45% sales drop https://t.co/qgfVbaeB6l
— Edmonton Journal (@edmontonjournal) June 10, 2020
Again – I have not dug into their books, but I feel like permanently closing 100 stores every month is a bad thing.
Snake’s Stock Corner Disclaimer: I don’t have a GD clue what I’m talking about and if you are considering using any of the above information in your real-life investment strategies then you should seek help at 1-800-GAMBLER.