This is the fourth installment of Snake’s Stock Corner and nothing I have given out has crashed and burned quite yet. *Looks over at $ZBRA nervously*. Maybe that means I’m playing things too safe. Just because sports are back doesn’t mean you shouldn’t be scratching that gambling itch through Wall Street.
I’ve said it before, but allow me to reiterate that the stocks like $MSFT and $LMT allow you to fool around with some house money. So for today, I’m going to give you a couple risky plays. I should clarify ‘risky’ as in long-term risky. These are not day traders. As Michael Scott once said “I do want the credit without any of the blame.” Let’s do this.
WINNER: BA
I guess the responsible thing here would be to discuss exactly what happened that resulted in the crash (pun intended) of Boeing. That said, I don’t see any reason to spend a lot of time focusing on the negative so I’ll try to provide a brief summary.
Essentially Boeing had very two very shitty back-to-back Marches in 2019 and 2020. In March of 2019 it was discovered that there was an issue with the 737 MAX planes after two planes had crashed resulting in fatalities to everyone aboard. I don’t have any funny joke to insert here. It’s pretty dicked up that 350 people got killed by riding in these planes.
However, as someone who has zero experience or knowledge regarding aviation, my understanding is that there was some automated system enabled that told the airplane to dive due to a bad sensor. This sensor could be turned off by the pilots had they been told what to do. But I’m pretty sure Boeing forgot to put “if this sensor fucks up then make sure you do X,Y,Z” in the product manual. Basically all Boeing had to do to fix this thing was a quick software patch or something like that. It’s like at work when you forget a decimal place in your excel spreadsheet and send it out to the client. Except your mistake doesn’t kill 350 people and in order to correct it you probably just have to send a follow up email profusely apologizing for your non-consequential error. Again, that’s my understanding of the issue, which I’m sure is not entirely accurate.
All this to say – this plane is going to be perfectly fine. All they have to do is rebrand this SOB. Call it the “Boeing Baller Bus,” I don’t give a shit. As soon as it doesn’t say ‘737 MAX’ on the side of it, every self-appointed aerospace engineer named Karen will be unknowingly boarding it. “These cross-country flight tickets seem cheaper than I remember!”
And the bonus good news is that I just saw an article the other day saying some Poland company is already placing orders to buy these planes. We’re back, bitch!
As for our other issue in March of 2020….do I really need to go into that? Aren’t you pretty well coronavirus-ed out at this point? Fortunately, some guy at one of my construction sites recently informed me that shortly after the November election we’re going to find out we have nothing to worry about anymore in regards to COVID. So that’s the mentality I’m operating under until I see some scientific proof that he’s wrong about that.
In all seriousness, I’ve seen some articles claiming the airline industry shouldn’t expect to recover until 2024. 2024? Wtf are you people talking about? I’m not jumping on an airplane for fun right now given the circumstances, but I have plenty of friends who are still flying regularly. 2024??? Look if I have to be the guy to say it, then I’ll be the guy who says it – I’m not acting like this until 2024. In fact, if this shit isn’t solved by the summer of 2021 then I’m going back to my normal routines with or without that magical vaccine (once we have it Fauci will tell us it won’t protect us anyway). I’ll mask up, I don’t give a shit. Christ, I’ll wear a hazmat suit if you let me go back into Beaver Stadium. But I’m not doing this half-ass quarantine thing anymore. And I find it hard to believe that I’m alone in my line of thinking. The idea that all consumers are going to avoid traveling via plane until 2024 is next-level “I haven’t left my house since March and I assume the outside world is burning” thinking. What a stupid, stupid take.
So that’s it for the negative stuff. Basically those two reasons are why you are getting to buy this stock at a 60% discount. My main argument for why this is a winner is because I think both of those reasons are severely overhyped, especially long-term.
But in case you want some positive reinforcement, refer to my previous discussion on $LMT. Boeing and Lockheed are probably the two most “let’s see how much money we can get from those idiots in D.C. this year” type companies in the US. It’s raining fed money over there. There’s zero shot our government lets Boeing go bankrupt. I bet Boeing is still regularly cashing FAT defense checks.
The last reason I’m telling you to buy $BA is because it’s comparable to betting on Porzingus to beat Darren Rovell in a game of 1-on-1. If you don’t like Boeing (Porzingus), then are you seriously going to put your faith in Airbus (Rovell)?
.@kporzee showing @darrenrovell how to Fly Like A Pro courtesy of @Delta. pic.twitter.com/ndptG8RtH9
— NEW YORK KNICKS (@nyknicks) March 2, 2016
WINNER: CGC
Are you even stock-market-gambling if you don’t have stock in cannabis? Canopy Growth Corp baby! What a country we live in where I can own a company that grows and sells marijuana but if I tried to buy some I could be arrested. As an owner of the company, I am a legal drug dealer pushing hundreds of millions of dollars of THC products, but if I drove around with a joint in my car I’d get pinched. Or maybe I wouldn’t…I honestly don’t know. Legalization, decriminalization, medical marijuana, etc. Weed legality has become like healthcare in that no one knows what the fuck is going on.
As far as weed stocks go, from what I can tell this is essentially the gold standard. And that’s not saying much. No one seems to have a clue how much a company like this is worth. I can find you 5 sources telling you it’s a 100 dollar stock and I can find 5 more that say it’s a penny stock. That’s what makes it a nice juicy play. Last I checked, Canopy Growth had the largest market cap out of anyone else trading on the NYSE (I’m pretty sure that means share price * outstanding shares?). I’ll double check on the leaderboard right now.
That’s right $CGC. We’re #1! It’s just us and Smitty Werbenjagermanjensen sitting at the top of the podium.
So pretty much no one knows anything about the value of any of those 7 companies above. But here’s one thing I KNOW that I am hoping a lot of baby boomers on wall street don’t know – this stuff will be legal in the US soon enough. I don’t know shit about how a law becomes a bill and how it gets voted on, etc. But I KNOW that if like 45 US states are saying they are cool with it, then at some point the federal government will have to bend the knee. And I think that day is coming sooner than later. So if nothing else, buy some $CGC, wait a few years for it to become legalized in the US, and sell it. Rule #1 of trading = BUY the hype and SELL the news.
Now for the really important stuff. Are you guys aware of the absolute SQUAD that Canopy Growth has assembled to invest into and promote this company? Look at this lineup:
- Martha Stewart
- Drake
- Snoop Dogg
- Seth Rogen
It’s like the goddam 2008 US Mens Olympic Hoops team just strolled out onto the court. In this version Germany represents Aurora Cannabis and Lebron James and Kobe Bryant (aka Drake and Snoop Dogg) just walked out onto the court for team $CGC. What does that make Martha Stewart…Coach K maybe?
I don’t know Martha Stewart’s exact role in that basketball analogy but what a KEY member of the team to snag in addition to those rappers. I get her confused with Betty Crocker constantly. Now that I think about it she might not even be a chef, but I am going to proceed as if she is. Imagine the wake-and-bake stuff she will have your 90 year-old grandmother whipping up alongside her 5:00AM coffee. THC and CBD infused muffins and crumpets. We’ll have every geezer across the country addicted to this shit in no time. *Cue the “you can’t get addicted to weed” crowd who smoke on a daily basis* “I only need it to sleep…and to wake up…and to get hungry at lunchtime.”
Drake and Snoop pretty much speak for themselves here. Drake brings the eyeballs and Snoop brings the street cred to the table. Seth Rogen I really couldn’t give a shit less about. I guess there’s probably a handful of couch surfers out there who will be more inclined to buy CGC products because they think they are the real life version of that Pineapple Express character. I’m actually getting angry just thinking about how painfully unfunny Seth Rogen is with that DUMBASS obnoxious laugh of his.
The real question here is simple: Are you willing to bet against this duo?
You know you can’t bet against the DO double G. End of argument. $CGC is a lock, just buy that shit already.
I’ll catch you all next time at Snake’s Stock Corner. Maybe for the next installment I’ll switch things up and hand out some stay-away LOSERS. For now, let’s just celebrate our winnings.
Snake’s Stock Corner Disclaimer: I don’t have a GD clue what I’m talking about and if you are considering using any of the above information in your real-life investment strategies then you should seek help at 1-800-GAMBLER.