I PLACED 40 SOME UNITS OF BETS AND SPENT MULTIPLE HOURS PREPARING FOR WEEK 9 JUST TO BREAK EVEN.
I guess technically you can say I came out ahead. If you consider a +0.15 units week “ahead.”
I’m not thrilled to say the least. So I’m not wasting hours of my time this week. Cutting to the chase.
🏈 CFB WEEK 9 RECAP 🏈
PARLAY #1 (+235) // RISK 1.0 to WIN 2.35
PARLAY #2 (+17000) // RISK 0.5 to WIN 85.0
LONGSHOT CHEAT CARROLL ‘WHY NOT US’ PARLAY (+20000) // RISK 0.5 to WIN 100.0
In a rare turn of events I decided to start hot and finish pathetically. All that bullshit just to put 0.15 units in my account. Oh, and 0-3 on parlays!
My thoughts on the games in no particular thought-out order:
Probably the only game of the day I got to watch the majority of from an outdoor tailgate surrounded by OSU fans. They were excited to see Michigan lose, and I was excited to see MSU cover.
PS – Shoutout to whoever’s tailgate I was freeloading at. Converting an ambulance into a tailgate vehicle is my life dream. Too bad somebody threw up on the hood of it.
Let’s be serious, this was the only game of the weekend that mattered. I was in attendance and while it was tough to watch the Nits go down, at least they went down fighting. I may or may have not placed an additional 5 units on PSU ML before kickoff when I was 15 beers deep.
Only good thing that came out of this game was I got to rush the field with the fellas (still not sure why the field was rushed, but we joined in) and an impromptu game of tackle football broke out. Long story short, I scored a touchdown in Ohio Stadium at the age of 28. Life is good.
No. 5 Ohio State fans storm the field after beating No. 20 Penn State pic.twitter.com/kbIwD9qsXs
— The Daily Collegian (@DailyCollegian) October 31, 2021
This is getting comical. All the Dawgs do is win (and cover).
I checked this score at halftime and I want to say Iowa had wither -1 or +1 total yards on offense.
Good stuff.
I can’t believe I’m saying this but maybe Auburn is pretty good. Ever since Penn State wiped the floor with them they have been playing some inspired football.
Texas isn’t quite back yet, but you can tell it’s coming any year now. And joining the SEC should expedite that comeback process.
This legitimately pisses me off. My entire life I have known better than to take Pitt seriously, and I finally give in and take them in a game (which I hated them laying all those points by the way). What do you know, they lose outright to a god awful Miami team.
Why on earth did I put my hard-earned money on this man?
My Scott Frost joke has officially come full circle. I said at the beginning of the season he’d get shitcanned when the team was 2-6. Then he sucked for like 6 weeks. Then right when his seat couldn’t get any hotter he went on a run to save his job.
And just when I thought his seat couldn’t get any colder, he does something like this….AND TOTALLY REDEEMS HIMSELF!
If you claim to understand the PAC-12 in any fashion whatsoever you are full of shit. I need to start taking the underdog moneyline in every single matchup because all of these games are coin flips. Take the spread and wipe your ass with it, either team could win by 40 points on any given night.
In the words of Ed Reed, “I’m hurt dog.” Week 9 has me depressed.
I could really use a pick-me-up, let’s revisit the rules. And let’s revisit a Snaker’s Dozen Classic hype video.
The Rules of Sports Gambling by Snaker’s Dozen:
Rule #1 – You are due.
Rule #2 – See Rule #1.
Rule #3 – When it starts to hurt, turn up the dial. More units. Also, see Rule #1.
(If that doesn’t get your juices flowing then please schedule a visit with your PCP.)
🏈 CFB WEEK 10 WINNERS 🏈
Virginia Tech -2.5 @ Boston College (-125) // RISK 1.25 to WIN 1.0
If Virginia Tech were to fail to cover the spread it would probably break some type of world record. I must be 0-7 when betting on them this year. Something’s gotta give.
Utah @ Stanford +7.5 (-110) // RISK 1.1 to WIN 1.0
We’ve already gone on record by saying the Pac12 makes ZERO sense. So the most likely outcome here is the underdog will win by double digits (or lose by 70).
Army @ Air Force UNDER 37 (-110) // RISK 1.1 to WIN 1.0
Via Tom Fornelli – “Since 2005, in games between service academies, the Under is 39-9-1.”
You’d have to be an absolute moron not to bet these Unders for the foreseeable future. I’m not exaggerating when I say I have and I will be betting these blindly for the next 10-15 years.
Liberty MONEYLINE @ Ole Miss (+300) // RISK 0.5 to WIN 1.5
I’m not sure if Matt Corall is playing, but let’s assume he is. That doesn’t change the fact that I heard Ole Miss had like 2 starting players on offense at practice this week. Kiffin’s boys are BANGED UP.
Plus, we get the Hugh Freeze revenge factor. This seems like a no brainer to take Liberty getting 10 points, but I’m an idiot. so I’ll take the ML.
Mizzou TEAM UNDER 9.5 @ Georgia (+110) // RISK 1.0 to WIN 1.1
No explanation needed. GO DAWGS.
(But in case you need the explanation, the Dawgs are giving up 3.6 yards per play and 6.6 points per game.)
Ohio State -15.5 @ Nebraska (-110) // RISK 1.1 to WIN 1.0
I’m not sure what I’m missing. If this game was at night then MAYBE I could see Nebraska treating this like the Super Bowl. But it’s at noon. Ohio State is going to treat this game like practice mode on NCAA ’14.
This could get ugly. If Ohio State wins by 40+ I think we finally get the mid-season Scott Frost firing.
Wake Forest MONEYLINE @ UNC (+115) // RISK 1.0 to WIN 1.15
Never in my life did I think I’d pick Wake over UNC in a pickem in 2021 but here we are. I don’t love this pick by any means, but one team has struggled the entire year and one team is undefeated and runs its offense like a track meet. Maybe this is a square pick, but I don’t care. Gotta take Wake on principle.
PS – If you are dumb and believe in a homecoming advantage then don’t take this pick. Pretty sure this is UNC’s homecoming game.
Penn State -9.5 @ Maryland (-120) // RISK 4.8 to WIN 4.0
What are we even doing at this point? This is disrespectful.
Michigan State -3.5 @ Purdue (+105) // RISK 1.0 to WIN 1.05
Copy and paste everythind I said about Wake Forest @ UNC.
Auburn MONEYLINE @ Texas A&M (+170) // RISK 1.0 to WIN 1.7
This is basically the same concept that burned me with Pitt last week. I’m finally giving in to the fact that maybe Auburn is a good football team. Maybe 5th year QB Kenny Pickett Bo Nix has finally figured things out.
Navy +21 @ Notre Dame (-115) // RISK 1.15 to WIN 1.0
This feels like the type of game when you see *UPSET ALERT* on the bottom of the screen and realize that ND is in an absolute DOGFIGHT with Navy midway through the 4th quarter. Don’t ask me for statistics on ND playing close with Navy, but in my brain it happens in 90% of their matchups.
Clemson MONEYLINE @ Louisville (-200) // RISK 2.0 to WIN 1.0
If Clemson can’t cover a spread then I will simply take them straight up.
These guys aren’t losing to Louisville. They just aren’t.
Oregon -5.5 @ Washington (-140) // RISK 1.4 to WIN 1.0
Despite what the rest of the world has decided, my opinion on Washington has changed 0%. This team sucks. I watched them for 60 minutes against Arizona and I’m still not sure which team was better.
Ducks by 2 TDs.
San Diego State @ Hawaii OVER 45.5 (-110) // RISK 2.2 to WIN 2.0
HAWAII LATE NITE OVERS FTW.
PARLAY #1 (-110) // RISK 1.1 to WIN 1.0
Let’s kick this week off with a Tuesday night MACtion parlay. And let’s get square with all 3 favorites. (Willing to bet my life savings that Ball State somehow loses, because you know, it’s the MAC.)
PARLAY #2 (+250) // RISK 1.0 to WIN 2.5
The Tuesday MACtion parlay will obviously hit, so I’ll keep the ball rolling on Wednesday night. MAC DOGS.
PARLAY #3 (-115) // RISK 1.15 to WIN 1.0
Billy Napier, go ahead and tear my soul out for the 10th time.
PARLAY #4 (+233) // RISK 1.5 to WIN 3.5
Just your casual 8-way Sweetheart parlay for a cool +233.
PARLAY #5 (+105) // RISK 2.0 to WIN 2.1
I am mixing things up this week and I genuinely put a lot of thought into a parlay that I could focus on winning for 2 units. Turns out in the heat of the moment I accidentally created a Travman 1:1 ML favorite parlay. I think he’s like 2-6 on the year with these type of things.
Goddammit.
LONGSHOT CHEAT CARROLL ‘WHY NOT US’ PARLAY (+10700) // RISK 1.0 to WIN 107.0
One time for god’s sake, Cheat!
Let’s have ourselves a week.