You are currently viewing Snaker’s Dozen: 2021-22 CFB Season Recap

Snaker’s Dozen: 2021-22 CFB Season Recap

The season is in the books. What a ride. We had a lot of fun. We watched a lot of football. We won lost a lot of money. Mattural’s Dawgs were victorious.

And now it’s over.

Michael Scott Happy Cry GIFfrom Michael Scott GIFs

🏈 CFB 2022 NATIONAL CHAMPIONSHIP RECAP 🏈

✅ Georgia -2.5 vs Alabama (-119) // RISK 5.35 to WIN 4.5 ✅

✅ Georgia MONEYLINE vs Alabama (-140) // RISK 3.5 to WIN 2.5 ✅

WAS IT EVER A DOUBT? NO!

MATTURAL’S DAWGS. IT WAS ALWAYS MATTURAL’S DAWGS!!!!!

via GIPHY

✅ Georgia -8 vs Alabama (+200) // RISK 1.0 to WIN 2.0 ✅

Alt line. Also never a doubt.

(In all seriousness this pick-6 ended up being BIG for me. BIG.)

✅ Georgia Team Total OVER 27.5 vs Alabama (-115) // RISK 2.3 to WIN 2.0 ✅

Jesus H this shit was too easy. I should have just called it quits after these bets. I would have been up 11 units.

❌ Georgia vs. Alabama OVER 52 (-110) // RISK 2.2 to WIN 2.0 ❌

I didn’t deserve this one, but I damn near stole it at the end. Chalk me down for another 1-point gambling loss. Why is it that I always manage to lose by 0.5 or 1 point, but never seem to win by that amount?

via GIPHY

✅ Bryce Young Rushing Yds UNDER 8.5 (-110) // RISK 1.1 to WIN 1.0 ✅

I feel dumb for ever being nervous about this bet. I had a hunch the Dawgs would bring the house and get after this man, but for full disclosure – I totally forgot sacks count against the QB’s rushing yards in college.

EZ MONEY.

❌ James Cook Rushing Yds OVER 99.5 (+520) // RISK 0.5 to WIN 2.6 ❌

This never really stood a chance, but I’d be lying if my blood didn’t start furiously pumping on that 67 yard scamper.

❌ George Pickens 1+ TDs (+120) // RISK 1.0 to WIN 1.2 ❌

No TDs, but we did get a legendary Fowler soundclip on that bomb in the 1st quarter. “GEORGE!”

❌ Jermaine Burton Receiving Yds OVER 34.5 (-110) // RISK 2.2 to WIN 2.0 ❌

I predicted this guy to have a big game, and that was incorrect. But I failed to mention that I also predicted he would then transfer to Alabama after Georgia won the National Championship.

❌ Nakobe Dean Total Tackles + Assists OVER 5.5 (-120) // RISK 1.2 to WIN 1.0 ❌

❌ First TD Scorer: JAMES COOK (+800) // RISK 0.5 to WIN 4.0 ❌

❌ First TD Scorer: BRYCE YOUNG (+2500) // RISK 0.5 to WIN 12.5 ❌

❌ First TD Scorer: GEORGIA D/ST (+3300) // RISK 0.5 to WIN 16.5 ❌

I’m still in shock over the Georgia D/ST TD being called back on the opening possession. That was 60 seconds of pure elation thinking I had just won 16.5 units. 

via GIPHY

❌ Team to Call First Timeout: BAMA (-120) // RISK 1.2 to WIN 1.0 ❌

✅ Team to Commit First Penalty: BAMA (-120) // RISK 1.2 to WIN 1.0 ✅

I’m ok with splitting these. I’m not ok with not getting a shot of Nick Saban blowing his stack.

via GIPHY

✅ Special Teams/Defensive TD to be Scored: YES (+200) // RISK 1.0 to WIN 2.0 ✅

Remember when I said that pick-6 was BIG?

❌ Most Receiving Yds in the Game: Jermaine Burton (+2200) // RISK 0.5 to WIN 11.0 ❌

via GIPHY

❌ First Turnover of the Game: FUMBLE (+155) // RISK 2.0 to WIN 3.1 ❌

The scoop ‘n’ score that wasn’t comes back to bite me again…sigh.

❌ Halftime-Fulltime Result: DRAW-UGA (+1600) // RISK 0.5 to WIN 8.0 ❌

❌ Halftime-Fulltime Result: DRAW-BAMA (+2000) // RISK 0.5 to WIN 10.0 ❌

The score was 6-9 at half so not a terrible bet all things considered.

❌ Winning Margin: BAMA BY 13-18 (+800) // RISK 0.5 to WIN 4.0 ❌

❌ Winning Margin: BAMA BY 19-24 (+1200) // RISK 0.5 to WIN 6.0 ❌

Lesson learned in life and sports betting both. Always skimp on insurance. You won’t need it.

via GIPHY

✅ PARLAY #1 (+1000) // RISK 0.5 to WIN 5.0 ✅

  • Georgia D/ST to Score TD (+540) ✅
  • Georgia MONEYLINE (-140) ✅

I TOLD YOU IT WAS BIG.

❌ PARLAY #2 (+1900) // RISK 1.0 to WIN 19.0 ❌

  • Brock Bowers 2+ TDs (+300) ❌
  • Zamir White 2+ TDs (+500) ❌

❌ PARLAY #3 (+2400) // RISK 0.2 to WIN 4.8 ❌

  • Bryce Young 1+ TDs (+400) ❌
  • Stetson Bennett 1+ TDs (+400) ❌

❌ PARLAY #4 (+2000) // RISK 0.4 to WIN 8.0 ❌

  • Bryce Young 425+ Pass Yds (+540) ❌
  • Bryce Young 4+ Pass TDs (+230) ❌

❌ PARLAY #5 (+4900) // RISK 0.3 to WIN 14.7 ❌

  • Bryce Young 425+ Pass Yds (+540) ❌
  • Bryce Young 4+ Pass TDs (+230) ❌
  • Bama MONEYLINE (+115) ❌

❌ PARLAY #6 (+9000) // RISK 0.3 to WIN 27.0 ❌

  • Bryce Young 500+ Pass Yds (+900) ❌
  • Bryce Young 5+ Pass TDs (+800) ❌

❌ PARLAY #7 (+10800) // RISK 1.0 to WIN 108.0 ❌

  • Slade Bolden 1+ TDs (+175) ❌
  • Brian Robinson Jr 1+ TDs (-143) ❌
  • Brock Bowers 1+ TDs (+100) ✅
  • George Pickens 1+ TDs (+120) ❌
  • James Cook 2+ TDs (+500) ❌

Incredible efficiency by me to miss nearly everything within every single one of my parlays. If you’re going to waste your time on parlays then at least get your money’s worth.

❌ LONGSHOT CHEAT CARROLL ‘WHY NOT US’ PARLAY (+30750) // RISK 0.4 to WIN 123.0 ❌

  • Bryce Young 3+ Pass TDs (+100) ❌
  • Bryce Young 28+ Completions (+117) ✅
  • Stetson Bennett 255+ Pass Yds (-114) ❌
  • Stetson Bennett 1+ TDs (+400) ❌
  • Jermaine Burton 35+ Receiving Yds (-114) ❌
  • James Cook 43+ Rushing Yds (-114) ✅
  • Slade Bolden 1+ TDs (+175) ❌
  • Zamir White 1+ TDs (+100) ✅

Just wasn’t in the cards for us this year (or any year), Cheat.

The good news is after all of the dust had settled I managed to grind out a whopping +2.1 units. 

via GIPHY

On the bright side, I actually managed to make money off my parlays for the first time in god knows how long (if ever).

🏈 2021-22 CDF SEASON RECAP 🏈

Now that things are all said and done, let’s roll this rig into the shop and assess the damage.

via GIPHY

Screen Shot 2022-01-25 at 11.48.32 PM

I think it’s safe to say that I should erase Weeks 6 through the Championship from my memory entirely. I’m thinking about all the cool stuff I could do with 55 units right now and it’s not a pleasant feeling.

But the important thing is that I had fun. And I abided by the Rules. Oh, and speaking of rules, let’s cap this season off with the addition of a 4th and final rule.

The Rules of Sports Gambling by Snaker’s Dozen:

Rule #1 – You are due.
Rule #2 – See Rule #1.
Rule #3 – When it starts to hurt, turn up the dial. More units. Also, see Rule #1.
Rule #4 – You’ll get ’em next year. Don’t lose site of Rule #1.

So without further adieu, have a splendid offseason everyone. I’ll see you back here again for Week 0 when Hawaii takes on Vanderbilt at midnight eastern.

It’ll be here in no time…right?

via GIPHY

CHAMPIONSHIP GAME NET: +2.1 Units

CHAMPIONSHIP GAME BETS (EXCLUDING PARLAYS & WEIRD STUFF): +5.2 Units (6-5-0)

SEASON (EXCLUDING PARLAYS): +7.05 Units (175-164-1)

SEASON DAMAGE DUE TO STUPID PARLAYS: -36.75 Units (8-64)

NET LOSS: -34.2 Units 💰

via GIPHY

Tags: , , , ,

Leave a Reply