My day got off to a strange start. The gf and me were told by the lady at Dunkin that the delivery of bagels never showed up that day. Actually I don’t recall her exact wording but it was something along those lines and I just remember that it made zero sense. The point is they didn’t have any bagels at Dunkin.
So as a Plan B we drove over to some other cafe where we placed an order and then stood outside waiting for our food. There were a few groups of people standing around waiting for their orders, but one in particular caught my attention. Check out this guy on the left:
It’s a completely fair judgement for me to say that this gentleman has never been challenged in his life. He has never performed a single strenuous activity in his probably 30 years on this earth. Look at that outfit. This picture was taken AFTER 10am. That’s a grown man in pajama pants and bedtime fuzzy clogs who doesn’t show the slightest sign of shame for his appearance. And I apologize for the rearview shots exclusively, I feel like you need the frontal to get the full effect. Masked up and bro shades on of course.
I bet his agenda for today is to head home to his bean bag chair and drink his coffee for the next 3 or so hours. Just some absurdly long time where he takes one sip every 20 minutes. Like it won’t make sense for how long he is going to be drinking that coffee. Then do some more drugs (don’t forget coffee is a drug) followed by some shitty comedic television and/or movies. That’s it. Aside from getting up to piss a few times and undoing and redoing his pony tail manbun that’s about all he’s got going on today.
There’s no two ways about it, this dude is LAZY. Even when the older grown man (possibly his dad) got up to collect their drinks/food after their order number was called he had to literally call out the dudes name and make the “come here” gesture with his finger. This bum was just sitting on the sidewalk curb apparently assuming the older guy had 7 hands.
Which brings me to my main point: I wouldn’t hire this guy to work for me in a bazillion years. I don’t care if wanted to work for free. I don’t care if he offered to pay me to come to work. He wouldn’t be worth the trouble. I wonder what his job is now. Probably works at some surf shop and hides in the back texting all day until quitting time. His manager constantly has to tell him to put his phone down and come back to work. And those are the days he actually shows up. I would estimate this guy misses work roughly 40% of the time. Now and then he calls in “sick” but a good chunk of his absences are radio silence. Not a peep out of him, he just doesn’t show up for his shift. It’s actually insane that this hypothetical surf shop is still employing him. Must be one of those situations where one of his freeloader friends’ dad owns the surf shop and his poor performance is being overlooked due to the awkwardness it would take to fire him.
All right, I think that wraps it up. Had to get all that off my chest. I’m sure in my 10 seconds of observation from 20 feet away that I characterized him very well and nothing I said was untrue.
PS – As soon as that guy got his order and left these two people showed up.
I love these guys. I’ve never seen them before, but I feel like I could be best friends with them within 12 hours. Probably the most genuinely nice dudes you’d ever meet. I just immediately pulled my phone out of my pocket and point blank aimed it at them. It’s not often you get a chance to see guys like this in the wild. Standing on a 400 degree asphalt surface and didn’t even think about popping the sandals on. Basically the Cody Lundins of West Ocean City, MD.
Not sure what the hell is going on at this coffee shop but there is a SERIOUS chance I buy myself one of those knit drug sweaters and move to this town so I can see what this lifestyle is all about. I feel like they are really onto something with the “I have never been stressed out in my life” thing.