They suck. That’s pretty much the end of the story. Here’s a list of words to watch out for if you don’t want to order something off the Patches O’Houlihan diet plan:
- Bier
- Wit, wheat, witbier
- Hefe, hefeweizen or any other -weizen words
- Amber
- White
- Pilsner
- Blue Moon
- Any other word that looks like it might be from Germany or one of those countries that you suspect may be close to Germany
I’m sorry if you like those things. Not sorry because I might have offended you, but sorry because you have been drinking urine and you apparently have never come across a worthwhile beer such as a New England ipa.
I have a theory that the only reason this type of beer has managed to stick around is because they come up with the best presentations. Awesome venues, huge mugs, and festivals where you dress up to get shitfaced. Seriously is there anything on earth better than getting served an obnoxious amount of beer in one of these mugs at 12pm?
For the record I’m not above drinking a pilsner. But I know what I’m signing up for. It’s basically a skunked natty light that costs more than a natty light.