Is this dude trolling again? You want me to believe every Saturday morning you and your wife kick off the day by throwing a nerf ball back and forth inside your living room? Don’t bullshit a bullshitter Skip. Let’s go through this piece by piece:

“For 15 years Ernestine & I have done this nearly every Saturday: We play catch.” – Zero shot. If that’s not the first time they’ve ever done this then it’s the second. Imagine blocking CATCH into every single one of your Saturdays for the last 15 years. At just 10 minutes a pop for 52 weeks a year we are talking about 7,800 minutes of catch, which equates to 130 hours. I played like 10 years of little league baseball and I don’t think I have 130 hours of straight-up catch under my belt. It’s one of those boring activities that your coach makes you do to warm up your arm that doesn’t need warmed up because you aren’t a 40 year-old with a beer gut. Quick shoutout to all the heroes hitting their local youth girls softball field tomorrow in hopes they will prove their high school baseball coach wrong 20 years after the fact.

“She never played a sport but can throw as if she starred in college softball.” – Are we watching the same tape? She looks like the stretchy guy from The Incredibles. Her form is atrocious. Reach your arm back and drive through your back leg lady. Rubberarm Rachel over here. Come to think of it, that looks exactly like how I throw a ball with my left hand when I’m drunk at a tailgate. Maybe ask her to try it with her right hand, Skip. Until then I’m not buying the NCAA softball star narrative.

“We talk, listen to music, reconnect.” – He’s got a point here. Nothing rekindles that relationship fire like telling your partner “good catch” over a blaring Lil Wayne singing Lollipop. I’m going to type out every single word I can hear spoken during this game of catch: “Curveball. CurveBall. Fastball. Fastball. Uh oh, highball. Woah. Good catch. That one got me right out of my shoes. Woah. Woah.” As me and my good pal Mattural like to say to each other, “Great fucking talk.”

“It’s become our ritual. In fact, I think I fell in love the 1st time we played catch.” – Again, I’m not buying that this activity is Skip and Ernies ritual. I think the COVID boredom has gotten the best of him and now he is trying to come up with new creative ways to troll us. Everything about this is so strange. We used to throw a football in our shitty college living room from time to time and even then I was nervous we’d break something (probably our really cool collection of liquor bottles). If you are having to avoid the ancient roman column during your game of catch then I’m going to say your living room is too nice to be flinging the rock around. And who’s the psychopath that came over to film that staged game of catch?? Put that guy on my watchlist. Lastly, if you think you fell in love playing catch with your wife then you might not be in love with your wife. “She made this great Willie Mays snag on one of my overthrows and right then and there I knew.” (After I just typed that out I’m now convinced that’s a rock solid reason to fall in love. Dammit.)

Skip is a professional troll, and maybe I’m playing into his hand here. But I couldn’t let this slide by my twitter feed unaddressed. Something about the manchild that does steroids in his 60s and the cowgirl with green shoes just caught my eye I guess.