Week 2 is in the books and we are back on track this week with a 4-2 record. Let’s face it – I needed a bounce back harder than my buddy after three consecutive scoreless weekends. Sure, 6-0 and 5-1 is great but a 4-2 week in gambling is more than ideal. The best sports gamblers (this is not me) hit between 55-60% of their bets so ultimately a 4-2 week should be a realistic weekly goal. Hopefully, every week this can get a little easier (famous last words) as we start to figure out which teams are legit and which teams are all hype.
WEEK 2 RECAP
1. 49ers -7 (vs. Jets) 
WINNER
49ers 31 – Jets 13
I do not know who decided this was a 1-score game but even with half their team missing in the second half (and Kittle not playing at all), the 49ers were still able to cover this easily. The Jets are a dumpster fire.
2. Vikings +3 (vs. Colts) 
LOSER
Colts 28 – Vikings 11
The lone big disappointment of the week. The Vikings came out and laid an egg when I expected the exact opposite. Maybe Frank Reich and company are for real after all. Or more likely, maybe they are going to be the team we avoid all year because we have no clue what to expect.
3. Chiefs -8.5 (vs. Chargers) ❌LOSER❌
Chiefs 23 – Chargers 20
This was the obvious shocker of the week. Realistically, the Chiefs decided not to show up, and realistically were lucky to even win. Knowing that 96% of people had this as well helps ease the pain a little.
4. Clemson -45.5 (vs. Citadel) WINNER
Clemson 49 – Citadel 0
This line actually got to -49.5 at kick which goes to show I think it can be beneficial to place your bets earlier in the week. Gives you a better chance of nailing ones like these where their spreads are getting hammered on Saturday morning.
5. SMU vs. North Texas OVER 68.5 💰WINNER💰
SMU 65 – North Texas 35
Yes, they scored 100 gd points. This one hit in the third quarter which besides maybe getting married or having a child has to be one of the greatest feelings in the world.
6. LA Tech +5.5 (vs Southern Miss) WINNER
LA Tech 31 – Southern Miss 30
Tried to follow this in a drunken stupor on Saturday night at a wedding and successfully missed the GW 4th down TD on the final play of the game but I watched the replay about 100 times so I think that made up for it a little. *Editors note: That was the greatest football game that has been played in 2020, SB54 included.*
What was I right about:
- The Jets are really bad. Like maybe picking first overall bad and having to decide whether they can actually pass on Trevor Lawrence.
- North Texas and SMU can score a lot of points
- Always trust Snake when the “wrong team is favored”
What was I wrong about:
- The Vikings were not chomping at the bit – in fact they look like they could be this year’s big disappointment
- Dabo DOES care about the spread
- The Chiefs are like a Fathead Bumbleberry – very good but I wouldn’t order it every week
- *Editors Note: This reference sounds strikingly similar to an instance I observed in a bar where Kinger ordered a Miller Lite. He then handed it to Trav to “try this blueberry beer.” After taking a gullible sip Trav responded with “That’s very good. I personally wouldn’t order it, but it’s very good.”*
WEEK 3 WINNERS
On to week 3 where we hope to keep things rolling!
1. 49ers -4.5 (vs. Giants)
Nick Mullens cost me a $220 parlay like 2 or 3 years ago I am still pissed about when he and the (at the time not good) 49ers took the Packers to OT and the Packers didn’t cover a 9-point spread. There are some things you never forget and this week let’s plan on getting some sweet redemption from him. Think we are realistically looking at 3 TDs from the 49ers being enough to cover the 4.5 points.
2. Titans -2.5 (vs. Vikings)
Let’s stick with our “Vikings suck” theme and hope that Gostkowski doesn’t burn us with another missed PAT. The fact that I watched the guy go 1,000,000 / 1,000,000 against the Bills for 20 years and now I am worried about him making an extra point is truly unbelievable. Also worth noting: I think I am going to keep hammering the Titans until either I am proven wrong or they start to get some respect.
3. Buccaneers -6 (vs. Broncos)
Tom Brady wins Week 2’s “Back from the Dead” award. Is anyone still in shock he plays for the Bucs? Maybe he needed a week to get into the flow of things or maybe he upped his water consumption from 5 to 8 gallons daily. Regardless, these two offenses couldn’t be more opposites and the Bucs being able to cover with 1 TD is too appealing to pass up.
4. West Virginia vs. Ok State OVER 51.5
I think 40+ points is attainable in the first half alone. *Editors note: Love this pick. I think the mullet tries to pour it on this week after a lackluster showing in the last.*
5. Texas -17.5 (vs. Texas Tech)
Man it sucks when people say “Texas is back” but have to wonder if this is the year they put it all together. Sam Ehlinger just seems destined to be a Heisman finalist and then throw for 150 yards and 4 INTs in a college football playoff game. Big 12 has not looked great thus far including Texas Tech’s opening week 2-point win over Houston Baptist. This line is already starting to move in favor of Texas and I can see them getting to 20+ point favorites.
6. Bengals +5.5 (vs. Eagles)
Pitt Buddy tried to talk me into another bet against Pitt this week -2.5 against Louisville. Instead I threw it into a monster can’t miss 8-leg parlay. We’ll give Pitt the week off and go with an NFL guest pick this week with the Bengals courtesy of my buddy, Matt Man. The rationale behind this one is pretty straight forward in that Joe Burrow looks like he is going to be a legend and the Eagles aren’t very good. The Bengals are due for a win, let alone covering 5.5 points. The fact that Joe Burrow has never lost three games in a row in his life makes this a lock (I just made that up.) This one would be a good one to tease at a TD but we’ll man up and take them at the +5.5 they’re currently sitting at (already down from +6.5).
Long Shot Moneyline of the Week
I also think it would be fun to go with a new (possibly weekly segment) this week: Long Shot Moneyline of the Week. For this I’ll pick a team to win that is +300 or worse. This week, let’s go big and go with #22 Army +570 (14-point underdog) vs #13 Cincinnati. Something about Army has really got the jollies going for me this year and the fact that Cincinnati is #13 in the country (even if just temporarily before Big Ten return) is enough to make me pick against them. I can see this being a one score game and lets hope it swings in Army’s favor at the end.
Enjoy week 3 everyone! I’ll be at work watching on my laptop praying no one comes into the clinic all day.