Wow. What a wild week 1 and despite a near 0-fer, I’d be lying if I didn’t say I loved it. *Editors Note: YIKES. Do we start fading him already?*
I’m not here to make excuses. It’s week 1. I have yet to meet someone that drives their opening tee shot into the woods and just grabs their golf bag and goes back to their car (as much as I’d like to see that). We learned a lot in Week 1: Aaron Rodgers is still really good, the Big 12 isn’t really good, and Mort is still alive. And let’s just say if it’s me vs the spread this season, the spread is gonna need a head start (<— someone write this quote down and remind me of it in week 8).
WEEK 1 RECAP
1. Oklahoma -42 (vs. Missouri State) 
WINNER
OU 48 – Missouri State 0
Let’s just say I started hot. Spencer Rattler looked like an early candidate for the third OU QB to win a Heisman in four years. This was a lock by halftime.
2. Clemson -33.5 (vs Wake Forest) ❌LOSER❌
Clemson 37 – Wake Forest 10
This looked good off the bat. Clemson up 27-0 at the half and 37-3 after 3. Turns out Wake Forest’s backups read my article from last week and Clemson’s backups didn’t. Either that or just Dabo read it and he tried to hide his love of covering for us.
3. Iowa State vs Louisiana-Lafayette Over 55.5 points ❌LOSER❌
Iowa State 14 – Louisiana-Lafayette 31
Rajin’ Cajuns lived up to their end of the bargain but Brock Purdy didn’t.
4. Titans -2.5 (vs Broncos) ❌LOSER❌
Titans 16 – Broncos 14
We all know what happened so no point in dwelling on it anymore. If the fifth most accurate kicker in NFL history hits just one out of the four misses (particularly the extra point), we’re celebrating this one as ea$y money. But shizz happens and if this went the other way, I’m sure I wouldn’t mention it. You were likely expecting more of a meltdown from me? Maybe I am finally growing up. Or maybe I bet Titans money line on my betting app 🤷🏻♂️
5. Eagles -5.5 (vs. Washington Football Team) ❌LOSER❌
Eagles 17 – Washington Football Team 27
This one stings. Eagles jump out to a 17-0 lead. But Washington scores 34 (34!) unanswered. Thank god I didn’t take the Eagles in my survivor pool (I did. I did take them. I’m out.)
6. Austin Peay +28.5 (vs. Pittsburgh) 😐NO-ACTION😐
Austin Peay 0 – Pitt 55
Read it and weep haters.
Fittingly, the same guy that picked this game also sent me this info. That’s why we get along so well. In all honesty, this seems only fair. There is no way of knowing whether Austin Peay rips off four TDs in those extra 10 minutes of play.
What was I right about:
- Missouri State is a cupcake week 1 opponent
- Spencer Ratliff is really good
- The Titans were 10+ points better than the Broncos
- Denver’s offense struggled
- Rajin’ Cajuns will score 27+ points
- Courtland Sutton didn’t play
What was I wrong about:
- Brock Purdy still hasn’t learned the offense despite 30 years of practice
- Dabo doesn’t truly care about the spread
WEEK 2 WINNERS
Whelp with all that being said, we are DUE for some week 2 winners. Fasten your seat belts.
1. 49ers -7 (vs. Jets)
As a Bills fan, I got to watch the Jets for four quarters last week and it was worse than I thought. They have no playmakers on offense. And the Bills could have scored 40 points easily if Josh Allen doesn’t fumble twice and the kicker could kick (this seemed to be the theme of week 1). 49ers coming off a loss have to be chomping at the bit. Let’s keep our fingers crossed Kittle is going to play and let’s keep our fingers crossed Greg Williams doesn’t have a bounty out someone’s head.
(Worth noting, this at -6.5 is currently -115 right now. )
2. Vikings +3 (vs. Colts)
Another team you have to think who is chomping at the bit after a week 1 loss is the Vikings. Could also probably say the same about the Colts, but until I see Philip Rivers lead a game winning touchdown drive this season, I am just going to assume he will lose the game for the Colts every week with a late INT. Ultimately this game is virtually a 50/50 toss up and the bookies are going to give me a field goal for the Vikings to work with. Let’s take the 3 points and sprinkle a little extra dough on the Vikings moneyline.
3. Chiefs -8.5 (vs. Chargers)
This seems too good to be true. The Bleacher Report app (god I hate it) actually will show you where the money is at for respective matchups and currently 96% of bets are on this. 96%!
I’m buying the Chiefs hype. Well kind of. We all used to listen to the same stuff about the Seahawks after they won their first one. It seemed everyone was convinced they were going to win the next four Super Bowls and they still haven’t won their second. But for now, the Chiefs look unstoppable. And the Chargers needed a kicker to pull his hammy to avoid OT with the Bengals (another kicker mention). Have to think a two score victory for KC is a lock here.
4. Clemson -45.5 (vs Citadel)
Eff it. Let’s try it again.
5. SMU vs. North Texas OVER 68.5
My first look at the lines and this one jumped out at me. This seems way way way too high. Quick math tells us 70 points requires 10 TDs between the two teams. But there’s a reason the line started at 66 and has continued to climb – both these offenses appear to be able to score some serious points (North Texas 57 in their opener and SMU 31 in theirs). Last year this game finished SMU 49 North Texas 27. I am predicting a similar score this year and I can see a late score to hit the over here.
6. LA Tech +5.5 (vs Southern Miss)
I liked the guest pick so much I’m going to make it a weekly thing. This week’s pick is courtesy of a (presumed) unintoxicated Snake and the same guy that convinced me to take GA Tech at +1300 live in the third quarter last week. He claims “the wrong team is favored” (my new favorite phrase ever) so someone besides Snake man up and take the moneyline on this as well.
And that’s our six-pack of winners for week 2! Let’s face it – we’re already off to a great start with Big Ten football back in action. Realistically, nothing could break my spirits in week 2, right? That and also there is no where to go but up….hopefully.