Maybe I am the only one that has came to this conclusion in life. Cause I’m the dickhead that will rarely let a closure sign keep me from pressing forward. But through my years of disobedience I have come to conclude a “road closed ahead” or “use detour” sign holds about as much water as the natty cans you clean up the morning after a party. These people installing those signs are just making shit up. Or maybe they simply forget to remove their signs once the route has opened back up. Regardless, I am urging you to question every closure sign you see from now on.
Just this weekend I went hiking and disobeyed 3 objects that were very clearly installed to try and stop me from accessing a cool trail. And the unfortunate part is I’m sure there are countless nervous nellies who came before me and didn’t get to experience that hike because the signs scared them away.
Look at this thing. That’s what we were met with when we got out of the car. Not another soul, nor a “Welcome to XYZ trail” greeting sign in sight. Just this yellow sawhorse that seemingly was placed there to prevent people from enjoying themselves.
To be honest, this thing didn’t even slow me down. I would have ducked under it had there not been so much space to stroll around the side. It looks like it was placed there by some punk high school kid as a senior prank. And absolutely zero directions to accompany it. Are you kidding me? Rule number one of disobeying signage is that you can always play the “I’m a complete moron and I didn’t have any idea I wasn’t supposed to be here card.” If you don’t put any sort of written direction on your barrier, then I am holding a royal flush.
NERVOUS NELLY METER = 0/10
Ok game on. This poster was nailed to that tree about 20 feet past the sawhorse. So my royal flush is gone. However, I think you’ve left me with a full house. “TRAILS TO FALLS CLOSED AHEAD.” This leaves things up to interpretation in my opinion. I can recognize that your trail is closed ahead and appreciate the warning. But as far as I can tell this trail is wide open for some duration before it closes at some arbitrary point “ahead.”
Plus, let’s get serious. You nailed a brown sign to a brown tree. If a park ranger starts giving me a hard time my first line of defense is going to be “I never even saw the damn thing.”
NERVOUS NELLY METER = 2/10
Dammit. This one is cut and dried. Nothing up to interpretation here. It might as well say “I TOLD YOU TO TURN AROUND SEVERAL TIMES. WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING HERE?”
I can try and play the visibility angle again, but that has lost some credibility after a second sign. Somebody laminated and stapled all four corners of that thing so they probably weren’t playing around. A park ranger is basically an outdoor mall cop so who knows what kind of personality you might run into.
But it’s times like these when you have to remember what got you to the dance in the first place. Imagine if Christopher Columbus Leif Erikson saw a sign telling him to “Piss off. Turn around.” You think that would have stopped him? No shot. We’re pioneers. We press on.
NERVOUS NELLY METER = 6/10
Here we are two miles later and look at those beauties. Never would have seen that waterfall had we bowed down to the closed sign. Let this be a lesson learned kids. Always question your authority and more importantly, never leave a “closed” sign unchecked.
