A 5-1 Week 17 puts us at 9-3 ATS the past two weekends entering Week 18. It seems rather impossible that we are in Week 18 already, but here we are. If anyone besides the Editor is still following along at this point, I appreciate the support.
We’re officially in crunch time here with just a couple of weeks remaining. And what I mean by “crunch time” is we need to have a hell of a stretch run with our $ix Rack ATS picks to negate the BEATING we have taken from LSML and 1:1 losses so far this season.
Yeah, there’s no chance this ends well but hope you’re along for the ride.
As always, let’s start with the recap.
WEEK 17 RE$ULTS
1. Georgia State -5.5 (vs. Ball State) ✅
I was convinced Clay Helton was coaching Georgia State next year, but then I remembered it’s actually Georgia Southern. Regardless, I hope their future is bright and props to the Panthers for the assbeating they put on the Cardinals.
2. Dolphins -1 (vs. Saints) ✅
I took this line as soon as Ian Book was announced as the starter. I like to picture the guy who was responsible for this line sitting on the couch, face in hands, after Book’s first pass was returned for a TD. Great stuff.
3. Raiders (PK vs Broncos) ✅
New flash: the Broncos aren’t good. Also, my grandfather calls John Elway “Ned” because he looks like a horse and he genuinely might be onto something.
4. Bills +2.5 (vs. Patriots) ✅
My Bills are back and ready to wreak havoc.
5. Nevada +7 (vs. Western Michigan) ❌
Unlike Donald Trump, 6’9’’ Nate Cox may have a problem with his small hands and corresponding small appendage.
6. Air Force vs. Louisville OVER 55 ✅
If these are the types of games Sebaceous Steve wins on a weekly basis, I think I somehow dislike him even more. In fact, I don’t think I could dislike him more even if I saw him in a white button up with an American flag jacket at a horse race. Oh wait.
Week 17 SSIDMASLSML:
Nevada +210 (vs. Western Michigan) ❌
Lions +195 (vs. Falcons) ❌
Week 17 1:1 Parlay (+108) ❌
- Seahawks -275 (vs Bears) ❌
- Chiefs -400 (vs Steelers) ✅
- Bucs -450 (vs Panthers) ✅
If you’re gonna miss one leg, you might as well miss two legs.
WEEK 18 WINNER$:
1. Alabama Cincinnati UNDER 57.5
Cincinnati has hit 5 of their past 7 unders. Alabama’s offense has looked rather inept at times. Bill O’Brien is back…but with Covid brain. This one goes under.
2. Baylor +1.5 (vs. Ole Miss)
Raise your hand if you love Baylor football.
3. MIchigan team total OVER 17.5 points
I already hate this but I think Michigan can string together more scoring drives than they are getting credit for. Their offense is actually sneaky good at times including 38 points against Wisconsin and 42 points against Iowa – two of the B1G’s best defenses. They’ve averaged 48 points in their past 3 contests. They won’t score 30 or 40 but 20+ certainly seems very realistic.
4. Tennessee -5.5 (vs Purdue)
A Hendon Hooker-led Vols O looks legit every time I watch them. Purdue is missing their best player on both sides of the ball. I think Tennessee scores a shit ton of points and Purdue can’t keep up.
5. Washington Football Team +4 (vs. Eagles)
Time and time again, we learn that it’s a week-by-week thing in the NFL where you can essentially throw out last weekend’s performance because it doesn’t mean much for this upcoming week. That being said, I think it’s easy for Vegas to overanalyze Washington’s mass exodus last weekend and give us a few extra points to work with here. These guys are the same team and this game is a coin flip. Don’t be surprised when Washington wins this outright.
6. Dolphins +3.5 (vs. Titans)
The Dolphins have now covered 6 of their past 7. The ‘Phins refuse to let me down and I refuse to quit picking them. Now queue the man in charge of this turnaround doubling as the scariest head coach I’ve ever seen in my life.
Week 18 SSIDMASLSML:
Texans +600 (vs. 49ers)
Speaking of overreacting, let’s overreact to last weekend’s Texans win and Jimmy G possibly not playing.
Week 18 1:1 Parlay (+100)
- Wake Forest -631 (vs Rutgers)
- Alabama -530 (vs Cincinnati)
- UNC -351 (vs South Carolina)
- Buccaneers -751 (vs Jets)
I do not have a guess for who blows this one. These teams should all win by double digits. Why do I still pretend to be surprised when someone inevitably blows this for me every week?
Best of luck in Week 18 and Happy New Year!